You need some family systems therapy. No one here is communicating, you’re all just voicing your opinions without hearing each other.

You swooping in and being your daughters savior is not helping your marriage or family, mom and dad should be on the same page. Period. It’s actually more comforting for a child if parents are united. So get him on board behind the scenes, and listen to each other.

Why isn’t there an alternative between these two extremes that exist for you both; catholic vs public? Seems you have the most conservative vs the most liberal and no one wants to budge. There are secular private school options that may meet everyone’s needs, do some research until everyone is happy. Tour them together. Call them together. Look at brochures together. Talk to your daughter together. Talk to the school about the bullying problem together. Talk to a therapist together.

Everyone in this thread (and in your home, it seems) needs to calm down and cool it with the threats of self-harm if they don’t get their way with school choice. Bunch of drama queens, daughter & husband! And most of all, ppl on this thread!! Wow! Calm TF down people, both parents likely care about their daughter. Let’s live in a world where emotions can escalate when things don’t go their way but you may still get reasonable advice for reaching compromise without divorce and death.

Good luck with high school. Seriously, there’s so much in the news about school being hard right now, post-pandemic. Go easy on yourself making big decisions. Give your daughter as much autonomy in that as you can. Give dad time to get used to it, there are several months before high school. Give yourself grace in the difficulty of the decision, but ultimately don’t let it weigh you down.