Hi! Thanks for your reply.

I know now by the way things are going on that I'll be more a lot more careful in the future (heck, I doubt I'll have any sex in the 47 years to come, minimum).

But there is something about your message that kind of shocked me. Don't get me wrong, I'm really really thankful you took the time to read and reply to me.

Everything you said is totally true but the way you said it really makes me think you don't really get what I'm going through.

I feel like you're telling me: "worrying is not going to make any difference. So you should stop and just accept your faith. Odds may be in your favor, or not. If not, suck it up and deal with it as best as you can".

Once again, don't get me wrong. I know you're trying to help me and everything you said isn't 100% true.. I'm sure I haven't interpreted what you said correctly, but really, reading "suck it up" made me regret having made this post immediately. I mean, (I hope) you wouldn't say that to someone whose son is in the coma for example (i know its a bad comparison but i was trying to make my point). It's totally true but invalidating someone's feeling isn't helpful as well.

I already know that what is done is done. Right now as I'm writing this I have HIV or i don't. I know it. I've accepted it. That's why I got myself tested in the first place : to know. I'm not stressed and trying to do something about my situation, I'm paranoid and scared to the point where I cant even sleep at night, eat or study for my exams because there is literally nothing I can do but wait. And all because of a low risk situation (for HIV). But it's true Ill make an effort to stop Googleing. I realise its not helpful at all but hypochondria can be tricky...

Now maybe I wasn't specific enough in my message: I'm trying to find people who were/are in the same situation (or close enough) and maybe to know how they manage(d) to get through the waiting process. In the end it wont make any difference for my body, but knowing you're not alone can help your mind at least...

But once again don't take it bad, please. Thank you very much for your message. I might be a bit defensive. Ill try to calm down and study since there's still hope. Thx again.