The Holy Bible is being rewritten in gangsta rap. What are some of the new verses?

Once upon a time in a distant land
Far beyond the sea where there lived no man
Or woman - in fact, lo and behold
The oldest person there was only 12 years old
Because all the grown-ups had washed away in a flood
One town in particular there was called Mud
Because every sister, cousin, and brother
From head to toe, in mud they were covered
But anyway, in this town called Mud
There lived a little girl named Penelope Judd
Now Penelope was a very sad, sad girl
Because she was living in a bad, bad world
Where kid teased each other and acted really mean
They lied, cheated, and stole and their speech was obscene
With no grown-ups around, nobody was really wise
So every kid did what was right in their own eyes
Penelope would cry - like every single day
No matter what she did, the tears wouldn’t go away
But deep down in her heart, she hoped it would get better
Because of what her grandpa had written in a letter
He said, “Penelope, it’s great news that I bring
On the mountain top there lives a great King
The King has a Son, and being a proud Father
He’s going to throw the Prince a huge party in His honor
But the good part - and I hope it gets you excited
Penelope Judd, you’re officially invited!
He’s sending a Dove - He’ll tell you all you need to know
Just have your bags packed and be ready to go”
It had been such a long time Penelope was waiting
She wondered if the letter was true or just faking
But one day she was playing outside
And to her great surprise, the Dove had arrived!
He said:

[Hook 1:]

Off we go with no delay
Don’t let nobody try to make you stay
We’re gonna see the King, we're on our way
And all the old things gonna pass away

[Hook 1 Repeated: Epiphany Kidz]

The Dove told her that He was sent by the King
If she wanted to go, she had to run and grab her things
Penelope said, “OK. I’ll be right back!”
Ran into the house and came back out with her knapsack
The Dove said, “Penelope, the party is in a day
Stay alert, follow me and I’ll lead the way”
So as He flew and Penelope walked the path
She waived good-bye to her friends and they started to laugh
They said that she was silly for following the Dove
Just to go to some stupid party up above
Penelope and the Dove continued on their way
But then she got sad, because part of her wanted to stay
But then she thought to herself, “Why would I want to stay?
Because all they do is play in the mud all day
And while they’re doing that, I’m gonna see the King!”
It made Penelope so happy, she started to sing
She said

/r/AskReddit Thread