Homeless, dumpster-diving uncle leaves me gifts at my mom's. These were my birthday gift. Thanks, uncle Jeff...

Ive done a lot of self analyzing asking myself the same question. I was kind of an outcast as a kid and was always kind of strange. One thing that stands out to me is when I would play pretend with my siblings I would always say pretend there's healthy cigarettes and would pretend to smoke the whole time we were playing haha idk what that really means but anyway, Middle school i started developing social anxiety and would act out in class and shit I guess to impress kids and get attention, looking back I was just being an annoying fuck. I first smoked weed in 8th grade and then by 9th grade was smoking a good amount and curious about any and all drugs, I spent hours on erowid reading about drugs and their effects. Cant recall exactly when I first took my first prescription pill but it was probably 9th or 10th grade. I thought drugs were cool and I loved the way xanax took away my social anxiety and depression which was pretty bad at this point and my friends had kind of started avoiding me. Then I met a kid when I was 15~16 who would bring in 30mg oxycodone pills I would give him $5 for a line every now and then and it was nice, nothing crazy then one day I bought a whole pill and snorted half. I remember laying back in my desk in class feeling better then I ever had in my whole life I cant describe it. Didn't take long till I met a dude who sold em and would but one or two every time I got my paycheck and it just slowly increased from there. Eventually I had an opportunity to try heroin and at this time (I was 18~19) I knew it wasn't much different from snorting oxy so I bought a few bags. I kept it pretty low key for a while until last summer and then this summer I started doing it even more and now here I am.

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