That is absolutely not what i meant but i do also think you need to realise part of the reason your parents made all that money was to provide for you and also should not be taken for granted. Your father (and mother) have made sure that you have had a roof over your head your entire life which is not a privilege everybody in the world gets and should not be overlooked.

I think it’s unrealistic of you to think that your father dying would only have a positive effect on you mentally. You’ve spent your entire life around him i think it’s unlikely that you would be full of joy the moment you hear that he has died.

I have been in a similar position around my teenage years sometimes hoping that my mother would die thinking that it would reslove most of my problems. My mother has struggled with a serious addiction from since i can remember up until a couple months ago and the things i’ve seen and experienced have scarred me for life. She came extremely close to dying this year and when i heard she was in the hospital in critical condition i wish i could erase all those thoughts i had about hoping she would die. Fortunately she survived and turned her life around which is something i thought i would never witness in my whole life. It was really a wake up call that things should not be taking for granted. Ever.

At first i thought i should tell you that your father talking bad about you to his family and unplugging your computer etc is a ridiculous reason to wish death upon him but i later realized that people experience different things in a different way which i should have understanding for. I just want to advice you to think about the things you say because they can have irreversible consequences. I personally think that your mindset will be changed over time but only time can tell.