I understand all of the potential consequences, my hardships have already been incredibly plentiful in my life. I didn't mean to make this out as a dream situation. In all honesty, it's been difficult and I /am/ level headed. I wanted to express my excitement, however. I've been researching this since mid 2013 so it's not as if this is on a whim, it's been vigorously pre-meditated and I wouldn't have done it if that was not the case. I had previously attempted to self medicate in September but due to family, had that found out and crushed before it could even happen, so I've gone through a lot of introspection since then (including the months and months of intense research through thousands of threads on Reddit, other trans websites like Susans.org, official medical manuals and hundreds of online resources as well as making connections with people who have had personal, real and honest experiences being transgender, and I have spoken to my counselor about my feelings regarding this for four years. I certainly know what I'm doing but would like some final clarification and tips tailored to my unique situation before I begin. This has all been 7 years coming, honestly, since I've begun identifying as female. I do not make rash decisions and I would not delve into self medicating with knowledge of my shortcomings and abilities.
That all being said, I am almost a legal adult and I've made a decision that impacts my life the way I want it to, not the way other people want me to. Weighing the consequences and situation at hand, I know I would rather take the risk and stem masculinization/initiate feminization prior to regretting not taking that jump.
My boyfriend is contractually signed to a 55k job at AEC due to his construction abilities and prowess and is expected to make double that with the connections he's making within the next few years, as well as having a moderately wealthy family and very wealthy distant relatives.
I believe I established I know how this works, which is why I stated that once I get HRT through 'legal medical methods', I'll be able to get SRS. I fully comprehend the process, as well as the specificity regarding requirements for SRS just prior to going in for the surgery.
I've weighed the consequences and have decided that this is the right choice for me. I can get blood tests during the summer, but as of now it's not an option and I'm pretty sure with how uncommon negative symptoms are for someone my age, I can make it a few months without suffering serious health complications, knowing the symptoms.
I didn't ask for your doubt or criticism for my plans, I asked for your advice regarding the questions at hand. No offense, but I'm really tired of people second guessing and questioning /my/ plans. Would you rather me self med with 140mg of estrogen because people told me not to DIY and I did anyway due to my adamance and intense desire to transition, or would you rather me self med with the knowledge of what to do and do it as safe as possible? I get you're trying to help, but I've made up my mind. Objectively, this is the correct way of going about this for my unique situation. I know I cannot wait.
I will not be using his money to see a therapist because I can not go to see a therapist at this time. Extreme family situation and all.
I've been planning for years.
I've gone through so many time periods of sorrow and elation that I've been able to determine the middle ground of logic here.
Thank you anyway.