I feel like I match all the points your boyfriend exhibits. I've been with my girlfriend for years now and she's the most important to me, yet I also found myself reacting terribly to things she'd do and say for little reason. And it would also hurt me afterwards, when I've realized what I've done. Then I would try to make things right by trying to bring them back to normal

Perhaps it helps you decide on what to do by hearing my experiences?

What she did one day was keep prodding when she felt I would talk about things (I preferred over text). We ended up talking and identifying the core reason of what I was actually stressed about and work on making me better handle the anxiety and understand that I was unduly internalizing it. She always had the tone of helping me get over my anxiety, and that made it easier for me to see things her way

Still, I'm aware I've been very unfair to her and I'm extremely lucky that she chose to stay and deal with it. She could have, and some would say should have, left at any time. It's really taught me to appreciate her even more and really start to watch myself to make sure I don't lose her. I won't find anyone as amazing as her ever again. I now double check my emotions every time before I go cold, and see if she's done anything to deserve it. I've found there have been 0 times she has deserved it, and I've corrected myself on my own before upsetting her needlessly again