Way to ONLY read the first sentence guys, good work!

Now, if you do try to read the rest also, that might actually answer your question.

As I said, INITIALLY, upon reading the stories there is a lot of backstory on HWs behaviour. This did NOT come across in the original stories.

Both OP and DH put a demand, not a request, for an apology out there. It did not come in the format they required and they escalated, putting in boundries (all good) but my opinion is based ONLY on the original stories, without the added document that came later, both OP and DH contributed to escalating the situation quite far. What had not yet been told is all of the things in that document. As I also said, with that added information (and guys, I have already written this in my original comment!) what they have done and how it has been handled is absolutely correct.

So, to summarize, for those in need of that; - Original stories without extra added information, they are contributing to escalating the situation and are totally unwilling to cooperate with HW and keeps pushing her far beyond what ONE mistake entails. - Document provided later explains why, this is not ONE mistake or one single incident, it has backstory and a lot of follow up. The original provocation contributes to HW really showing her colors (red flags all over) and I compliment OP on how she has handled it, because it is completely correct and it takes balls (shiny spine) to do that and stick to it.

Got it now?

TL;DR; Read first, then comment. Attacking in stead of asking aint cute.