Hey there.

I would suggest to start out by finding a bible teaching church. The relationship you seek with Jesus is in His word. Pray and seek him in your bible. God will show you.

Philippians 4: 6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in eveything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will gaurd your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ. NKJV

2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is protifitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God maybe compleete thoroughly equipped for evey good work. NKJV

God has got this and you are loved unconditionally.