How do I [33M] manage to stay sane after wife [33F] cheated and we both want it to work?

When my wife cheated on me, we recovered by admitting that there was a significant wound, and being realistic about the amount of time it would take to heal. As part of my healing process, I also needed to understand why, and what I did to contribute to her actions. Most people will say that you should never take any responsibility for your SO cheating, but for me it helped a lot to realize that there were things that I could have done better too. That helped me get over the feeling that there was a constant looming threat, and helped me stop thinking of myself as a victim. Getting over what actually happened took longer. I started journaling and trying to isolate what it was that bothered me so much about what happened. Writing was painful, but I tried to keep a balanced perspective by asking myself if all the wonderful times of the previous six years was worth what I was feeling at that moment and the answer was always yes. I never figured out why it hurt so much except that I expected it to. Eventually I got tired of thinking about it and just kind of stopped. About 10 months after it happened it didn't really upset me anymore, and I'm glad I stuck it out with her.

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