TW: Autism is sometimes a touchy subject online so I first want to clarify some things before you read my experience.
I am talking about my personal experience being raised by 2 autistic parents and this was a extremely abusive experience for all my sibling. I do not want to invalidate anyone reading this who has a diagnosis on the spectrum, this is not about you, this is about 2 parents who never sought help for their problems and abused each other on top of abusing their 4 children. Whether they did it on purpose or because of their disability is a moot point and the results of their actions are what counts and the damage it caused and their refusal to this day to take any responsibility for it. They both have bachelor degrees, my mom has quite some knowledge of psychology and is well read on the subject, yet they will rationalize everything they have done and gaslight or discard any of my siblings who dare to challenge them. /TW
For me this is a super complicated subject because both my parents actually have a diagnosis on the autism spectrum but I suspect there to be plenty other things going on with them that I cannot armchair diagnose (and shouldn't because that won't help me). So being raised by 2 at that time undiagnosed people with autism there were so many needs that were not met by them because of their own developmental issues and especially their ability to read and understand the emotions of others and adequately respond to them to fulfil the needs of them. My mom till this day will even still rationalize that she did not soothe us and gave rational solutions instead because that was better according to her and she cannot (or does not want to) change that perspective.
My mom was always convinced I has at least ADHD and when that didn't do the trick and make me behave more to her liking, it changed to autism which I even became convinced of or at least I inherited the crusade to find out what was wrong with me. At 16 I was diagnosed with ADHD and at 27 with autism however from 22 till 24 I had 4 misdiagnosed personality disorders after being admitted to a psych ward (among others NPD and traits of BPD). My mom was right about the ADHD however she always denied the hyperactivity and she would go with me to the appointments with my therapists back then and interject when I brought up anything related to that so I never actually was properly treated for it and I started rationalize it after all the gaslighting.
At 32 I was finally diagnosed with PTSD (or CPTSD but it was worded as PTSD to my GP), the treatment greatly reduced what you could call "autism" and increased my hyperactivity a bit actually. I have had discussions about this with therapist before who did see value in my hypothesis, that I may not actually have autism but that is more a nurtured problem that still resulted in similar developmental issues, that with the right treatment resolve at a rate you wouldn't actually see in someone with a conventional diagnosis on the spectrum. I was also bullied from the age of 8 till I graduated at 18 so that also did a tremendous amount of damage on my development on top of my parents abuse and neglect. In retrospect I think my misdiagnosis at 22 is super important to understand what being raised by my parents slowly turned me into and the values that I had learned and was convinced of were true at the time, my parents are not unlikely to suffer from cluster B personalities on top of(or instead of) autism.