How am I supposed to feel about my parents?

Like other commenters have said, regardless of your behavior, the way your parents treat you is up to them. They are grown adults with full control over their actions. If they thought your family dynamic was difficult or unhealthy, they should have sought out professional help instead of taking it out on a child. Yes, people make mistakes, but a parents job is to love and support their child to the best of their ability. You can forgive your parents as people, but you don't have to forgive them as parents. If their behavior has affected you negatively, left ghosts of painful memories in your mind, that is abuse.

Strangely enough, I had a very similar childhood to yours. Parents in denial of their mental illnesses and I'm also autistic. Instead of acknowledging that our family was unhealthy and finding help, they took their frustrations out on me. I tried to forgive, forget, move on, but it didn't last because their behavior never changed. They continued to find ways of causing me emotional harm even after I moved out.

Now the cliche part, my advice is to try therapy. Maybe one day you can convince your family to try family therapy so you can work on your relationships together, but personal therapy can give you the techniques to navigate them while protecting your emotional/mental health. You can also try research on your own. Not saying they are narcissists but it does sound like some narcissistic behavior, take that to the internet and see what you find?

I can tell that you love your family dearly, but you deserve the same respect and peace as any other human. I wish you strength and healing on your journey

/r/emotionalabuse Thread