How are you doing?

I'm not doing great. I'm 37 years old, with 2 kids, and I'm finding it hard to get up in the morning. I go through the motions, fake a smile, and hold it together while I'm at work. At night, after work, I often can't sleep because I feel so alone. I am unlovable. I don't have any friends because I've pushed them all away. The only reason I'm still alive is because of these 2 kids. I'm really good and faking it and telling people not to worry about me. I'm really good at my job, and people respect me, but I'm totally alone and it tears me up. I feel like I've fucked up my life and I'm not sure how. I don't know what I did to become who I am, or how to get out of this mindset. I'm scared. I'm alone. I'm a ghost of who I should've been. I wish things were so much different. I wish I could change. Thank you for asking. Honestly, it helps.

/r/AskReddit Thread