Stressed. I have finals this week up to finish my 3rd semester at medical school. I've been fighting my hardest to stay in the program and not be on academic probation again. I try not to compare my life to others, but I feel like a piece of shit. When my classmates who have families and young children, they seem to juggle so much so well. I'm here with no responsibilities to anyone other than myself and I can't get my shit together. It's also interesting being older than the average in my class. It's hard to find kinship with my peers who are 10 years my junior. As a veteran, I think to myself that I'd rather be getting shot at again than doing this shit. I feel like I got duped again. Joining the army was like getting swindled by a used car salesman and I feel the same way about my grad program. It wasn't at all what they sold it as and the amount of ridiculous BS and bureaucracy is astounding. I'm disappointed in myself for being naive enough to "fall" for it again. There is a bitterness that the Army left in me. It slowly is degrading with time and especially when I see patients on rounds. I question my decision about grad school daily. I've more mentally unhealthy now than I've ever been which I find hilarious. Grad school in America is more stressful than a fucking firefight. At least my time in the Army, grad school, and the current dating scene gives me plenty of material for open mic stand up.