How are you doing?

I have one exam left, but as of late I've been feeling really under the weather. I recently got kicked out (currently living with my aunt), and some days I just lose all motivation to do anything whatsoever. It creeps up on me, like I could be doing great one day and wake up the next morning feeling like trash.

I don't think I'm depressed or anything, as I've had slumps like this before due to life events out of my control. I don't like up-playing my shit either, I know others have it worse and I have friends with actual clinical depression. I don't want to feel like I'm projecting my problems on anyone. I haven't gone to check any help because I don't think it's serious enough to be considered detrimental.

Lately I've been feeling really existential, wondering what's the point of me living anymore (not suicidal mind you, I don't actively think of killing myself - just what it'd be like if I wasn't alive anymore). I don't know what I should do. I'm a pretty happy and optimistic person for the most part, and I'm very emotionally aware of myself which makes things a tad more difficult. But in this case I don't know if this is stemming from something internal or external, and it's a bit frustrating.

Sorry for the rant, this isn't a throwaway but a lot of the people in my life don't know I fiend Reddit 24/7 so I'm not worried about anyone seeing this. I have a really good support system and great friends, but I feel hesitant to talk to anyone about it. I'm usually the one people can rely on, and I don't want people so close to me see me in such a vulnerable position. I've let it out a few times and it felt great, but as I said earlier I don't want to over project my own feelings and emotions on other people.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this, I really appreciate it. Have a wonderful day!

/r/AskReddit Thread