Idk. I feel like I don't have much reason to complain since I hung out with some people yesterday, but I'm pretty lonely. It's frustrating since I'm the one that's always making plans with people, but the majority of the time they end up backing out last minute. No one ever makes an attempt to reach out and make plans with me, and it's become frustrating and disheartening. I invited over 10 people to my house yesterday and only 3 people showed up; one of them was my cousin and the other one was a coworker I basically kidnapped from work.

I straight-up told one of my friends that it would be nice if he initiated hang-outs on occasion, but he told me that that's just not who he is and isn't going to do it. The friendships I have made these past couple months feel extremely one-sided and I'm just really lonely and can feel myself pulling away from people and isolating myself even more.

I really hate the fact that deep down inside, I know that I really don't need friends (or anyone for that matter) since most people tend to treat you as someone of convenience rather than someone who they genuinely value and want to be around, but I crave human interaction and it's warring with the logical side of my brain. Again, I feel like I really don't have any reason to feel this way, but I do and it sucks.