Today was a bad day mentally. I was angry and short tempered, karma was hard on me. I beat myself up because I did the same thing to my ex wife that I did to my ex girlfriend and I don't think I deserve to be happy or loved. I won't let myself move on from either because I don't think I've suffered enough and I still love my ex girlfriend even though she hates the fuck out of me and is getting married 1800 miles away soon. Trying to get out of debt my bank made a mistake and over drafted my account 22 dollars so I have no money until they fix it which could take a week and the air conditioning in my work truck I spend 8 hours 5 days a week in went out today. My knee hurts because I ran a 5k trying to run off the anger and depression because I'm worried I'll die alone, that I want to die alone. My family is moving and I'm about to be much more alone than ever. I live with my only friends and I'm slowly becoming a burden on them but can't help it. Today was the first time since February I considered suicide because I'm so angry and depressed and lost and hurt and I know it'll pass but it just sucks.