Depressed, anxious, having trouble keeping from hating myself for not getting a job yet. Won’t be able to afford my mental healthcare soon without a job that provides insurance. Trying to enjoy the little moments of laughter and smiling. Lying to my family and friends about how I really feel; which deep down is the slight urge to end it all if things don’t improve after this year is over. But I’m not set on that, just thoughts, no plans.

Some days are better than others. But the bad ones are like knives digging into my soul. Sometimes I think of re-inventing myself, see if that gets me out of this seemingly never-ending shit-storm in my mind.

Things could be worse in my life, I suppose.