I'm afraid for my relationship. He wants to wait until marriage to have sex. It was fine with me until I realized that he's not getting better at massages. It sounds stupid but here's the thing, despite lots of feedback on what I like and don't like, and what feels good, he hasn't gotten better. He does the same repetitive motion without paying attention to where my body parts are. So he'll massage my bones and my skin but never seem to be able to get the muscles or knots. Even when he has his hand right on it he'll lose it. He can't get a rhythm going, he manages to change it as soon as it gets good. It's been two years of feedback and he hasn't gotten any better. Also I'll give him really long strong massages until he falls asleep, but for me he'll do some flimsy squeezes before stopping. He said its because he's tired. Well so am I when I'm giving you an hour long massage. He said its because he doesn't know how. Well I've been showing you! We mess around sometimes so it's the same thing. I just can't get aroused sometimes because we can't get a rhythm going.

For days out, he hardly has plans in mind. I don't mean that he's spontaneous. He just settles for what's comfortable. He just asks me what we're going. If I'm too tired to plan his backup plan is to go to the same old mall or watch TV at home. I like to try new restaurants, budget isn't a big deal for me when it comes to special days. I'm not afraid of a $30 entree if it's a special day. If he had a choice he picks applebees or unos or IHOP. Neither of us are strapped for cash so it's not like we can't afford tasty did. So I ended up picking restaurants for special days and I also end up paying because I don't want to drag him to a pricey place and make him pay, since he's told me before that he doesn't want that. Since I plan where to go or eat I end up paying a lot for the two of us. I don't mind frugality, it's good to be conscious on spending but eating a generic bland pasta dish at a chain restaurant wasn't what I had in mind for Valentine's Day. Also I've started to dread it when he wants to cook food instead because that means I'm the one finding the recipe, shopping for ingredients, buying them, figuring out how to cook the dish, keeping the time and then doing most of the clean up. I have to constantly ask him to help because the moment I don't, he's back on his phone. It's so tiring.

Conversations are stale. He gives me half assed vague answers when I want to know how his day was, or what he thinks about things. I can hardly talk to him now. He'll ask me a hundred times how I'm doing but hardly say anything about his day or what he's thinking. I like talking about things and having fun and interesting conversations but he hardly responds with his own thoughts, just "that's interesting" or something generic and if I stop talking, hes on his phone again.

I want a future in our relationship but I worry about it. I feel like I'm nagging him all of the time and I don't want to do that. But I also don't want to say nothing and just get shitty half assed massages. What's sex going to be like one day if he can't bother to learn how to give a good massage? If I'm tired and can't plan what to cook or plan a day out then I can expect something cheap and low effort because he sure isn't going to think of anything fun or romantic. I'm so tired and I'm not sure what else I can do because I've communicated these things already. Sometimes I fear we're not right for each other anymore and that's the worst feeling because I want this to work.