Remember that a hard no isn't a hard no for the whole day. I still have trouble with this. Initiate when you want, if she hard no's continue with whatever you had planned (either with or without her). Later, try again. If she hard no's again, you can be more absent/distracted the next day. Think of it like turning a faucet from hot to cold but gradually. If you go from making plans every day to complete disappearing act she will notice and she'll see it as a butt hurt reaction to sex denial.

I've found that it helps if I have future plans that I share with her (few and far between), plans I make that include her but I don't tell her about, and plans that are just for me that I can invite her along to but dgaf if she's there or not. That way if she's giving me what I want, I can reward her with "surprise" plans and activities, and not I have stuff to do without running out of the house and looking butt hurt.

You have to make sure that she doesnt see your absence as a punishment. It absolutely is when you get down to it, but if she thinks it is you've gotten nowhere. You want her to put together that no sex = no fun loving husband/bf on her own. You can't shove it down her throat.

The cuddling thing is kind of personal I think. My ltr is not a very cuddly person in general. Even at the height of my betadom she was never that into it. So me withdrawing from cuddling means nothing to her. In general I think girls get the same closeness/connected feeling from cuddling that's guys get from sex. Dial it back. If she initiates cuddling try to spin it into sex. If she's putting out, reward her with cuddling after sex and maybe the next morning/evening. This works with whatever it is your girl gets out of the relationship. Attentive listening, gifts, "I love you's", compliments, etc.