Your wife is incredibly selfish and cold to watch you struggle for so long and do nothing to help. STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HER. I have PCOS, chronic fatigue and a heart condition that necessitates some serious medication that leave me with vertigo. Yet I work 60 hours a week, just finished a masters degree and am starting to learn coding. I CHOOSE to get off my ass and accomplish something, no matter how exhausted I am.
She’s not incapacitated, and makes a CHOICE, every day, to watch you struggle. She makes a CHOICE to not get herself more help.
You’re so beaten down you’re not seeing it. BOTH of you are putting her choices above your needs, and that is a shitty way to live.