Do you love yourself? Do you feel centered? Obviously not right? Then focus on that. Women want to feel a rock, a man that isn't easily swayed by them. I'm coming out of a break up too, and I've read more books on relationships in the last month than I've read in the last 10 years. You gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself and rebuild. Find a purpose, find something to work on that'll rebuild your self confidence. It takes time and effort but it's worth it. You need to get to the point where you're happy with or without her. And who knows maybe she will come back, or maybe it'll be someone else, but either way it shouldn't push you off center.
If she doesn't want to work things out it's her loss, you gotta see your worth. If a woman is attracted to you she'll make it easy for you to get in touch, she'll reach out. In my case she reached out after the break but rather than tell her I'm still recovering and need space unless she wants to work things out, I tried to act like I was ok. I wasn't emotionally honest with myself or her, which came off as weak and needy and just pushed her away more. I'm finally getting to the point where I can be vulnerable and honest without feeling like it's weak. In reality being vulnerable shows true strength. A truly confident guy shows his vulnerability because he's not afraid of judgement, because he believes in himself, and that's enough. I'm not saying you should whine to your partner or ex, but you shouldn't be ashamed of your feelings, and you should always love yourself more than you love your partner, otherwise you're just on a path to self destruction. And you'll be a better partner that way! It'll be easier to come from a place of love and compassion and patience, rather than be sad or upset or critical. Remember, ideally whatever a girl says to you should roll off you like waves on a rock. You are her rock, she is your joy.
Personally I'm not even dating anyone, just myself for now, and it's really liberating. I'm trying new things, finding new hobbies, and as my new skills grow, my confidence is coming back. I could jump into another relationship out of fear, but I would probably just make the same mistakes. And I'd rather work on myself than distract myself with dates or petty sex. In a healthy relationship you think about what you can give, not what you can get out of it. You attract what you are. Weak attracts weak, strong attracts strong. So become what you want to attract.
Be grateful for the lesson you've been given. The pain and the lesson are two sides to the same coin. Forgive her, forgive yourself, and be grateful for what you DO have in your life. Then find a passion that's all yours and never stop working on it, never stop working on yourself, and don't neglect your feelings. Dive into them, find out why you feel the way you do. What did she do that made you feel love? What can you do by yourself that would bring that same feeling? The answer is probably take care of yourself, be patient with yourself, work on yourself, improve, grow, etc.
I would highly suggest reading. I've fallen in love with reading recently and wish I had read this stuff years ago. It's like someone is sitting down and talking to me, giving me attention(which helped in the lonely times), and giving me wisdom. It feels like someone is pouring liquid gold on my brain. It's really helped me out of my rut, and maybe it'll do the same for you.