How can you help someone who's having a panic attack?

This has happened to me in the past, though it hasn't for a long time. I only know one person who was ever able to deal with me in that state, and he was usually brusque, he was definitely not coddling me but that was exactly what put me back in my slot and let me get it together.

It only happened a couple of times, but once it happened because I was wildly stressed out from a really terrible home environment at the time, and I was with him in a large crowd and expected to talk to many people there (it was a business function of his). It wasn't optional, socializing was expected of me and that doesn't come naturally at the best of times. At some point I got claustrophobic and I had to get out of there, I was really starting to get angry and tetchy, because that's how I freak out.

He took me gently but firmly by the arm and said "Come on", brooking no argument, not being nice, just let's get the fuck out of here because you're shitting the bed right now. He would never say it like that but he didn't fuck around.

He pulled me out of the crowd, into a quiet bedroom, and told me to sit down and stay there. I did, and he left the room; after a couple of minutes, I had collected myself a little, and he reappeared and handed me a glass of ice water and an ashtray with one cigarette and a lighter in it. Then he left again, went back out to deal with the crowd.

Ten or fifteen minutes later I came back out under my own power and went back to join him. From there I was okay again.

I think it helped a lot that he was short and not 'therapeutic' with me. When people coddle me or puzzle me about what's wrong it either gets me more upset because I can't explain clearly, or it encourages me to vent and now I'm really crying and can't get it together again. He's never been a coddler and I've never been more glad of it than when my shit goes to the four winds like that.

/r/TrueAskReddit Thread