I think your trying to get him to be independent enough so you don't beat yourself up worrying about him while having to support him by feeding him. You want to course correct him before you take it upon yourself to be there caretaker. I'm in a similar situation. My dad gave me some morbid advice from his time growing up. His parents were not around and he had to life in his own without support, he called it the school of hard knocks. We can't worry about everyone else all the time. But some of us still end up trying to fix people. Personally I'm at the point where I'm buying and cooking the food, if I keep doing it consistently I'll end up completely out of money so I'm gonna have to just stop it.