It looks like this is a case of 'opposites attract'. With your different backgrounds, your different relationship preferences, your different attachment types, and your porn addiction, you have a lot of differences that make you incompatible in a relationship. She expects things from you that you can't give her and vice versa. Her needs are not unreasonable but you cannot give her what she needs. You are the wrong guy for that. And she cannot give you non-monogamy. Love will not fix these differences, they will only grow in this relationship. You say she loves you "too much" because you likely have an avoidant-dismissive attachment which is triggering for her. Her relationship needs on the other hand are triggering for you. Your thought processes are typical for someone dismissive ime. You are both wasting your time in this relationship imo.