How do we cope with diversity in our communities?

There's no easy answer here. Rare enough to find other queers, let alone others who are like you. In that sense I can't totally blame the big identities for developing some tribalism, as nasty as it might seem to come from within a perceived unit. It stings more to have someone you think you can trust hurt you than to be hurt by someone you already know dislikes you.

The total number of people I've met in my lifetime who like the range of people I do, no more or less, is under ten. But life goes on, and eventually, even the rarity becomes a facet of identity. Would I feel more comfortable if I had more peers who were like me? Or is that wishful thinking? A couple of those under-ten people have held revolting opinions about groups of people I care about.

The broader the identity, the less it seems to truly bind its members together; straight people feel practically no kinship with one another over their orientation. Conversely, the more restricted the identity, the more limited we seem to be, and the more we cut off from one another. There seems to be no way around it.

But, who needs a way around it? I love my spouse, and I like who I like. People like to be liked, it turns out! If being queer is about liking other queers, then there's every reason for queers to like being queer, too.

/r/queer Thread