I completely agree in theory, as I find myself saying a lot here. It's how it's played out that makes me have to stay on guard for deceit.

Ideally, homes sound better. But consider this: When this school year started, one night after the call, they called back. Rather, he called back. "[Name] wanted to talk to you about something." "Sure, what's up?" Silence. "Well, [Name] wanted to talk to you about after-school plans. (Silence) Right?" More silence.

"What?" I said. "This isn't OK. We're supposed to talk about these things ourselves, not with them first and then put the other parent on the spot. I'm going to go. I love you, [Name]! Bye."

Kid started yelling from the tension.

He (parent) worked up a plan with a kid, and sprung it on me directly through the kid with no notice.

That's serious coaching. Attorney confirmed.

He (parent) proceeded to badger me about in texts after that call, not even acknowledging the shady methodology.

So, I wish I could trust him on after-school plans. But everything's a scheme. From the precedent of his own actions I have to default to expecting everything's another ploy.