For a long time i’ve suspected that i had an attention deficit disorder. I always had immense difficulties focussing on a subject/conversation/work and often even loose focus when i’m jerking of or having sex (…) , my mind wander ,i end up doing something else, give up. It takes me a tremendous amount of focus to achieve simple boring tasks.

The thing is that i live in a country where ADD isn’t really regarded as something serious or commun and what i think might be symptoms are regarded as trait of characters.They consider hyperactivity( which i’m clearly not ) but not really the ADD.

Both my parents are doctors(i’m in my thirties but often ask them first when i have a medical related question,it’s cheaper).When i tried mentioning it to them, they argued that it was something unreal ,exaggerated by american laboratories to make money selling Methylphenidate. And this seems to be the consensus here.

It’s all nice and cool expect that it doesn’t help me one bit and in the era of internet i can research the symptoms , read stories , etc.

However when looking at that paper for example http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1525089/ you realise that 25% of american have ADD and other developed countries 1 or 2%. (Germany,France,Hong-Kong,UK,..)

Again,they explain it by american laboratories marketing of the drug to doctor.

I’d be cool with that (better safe than sorry right ?) if i didn’t think i was concerned by the issue myself or that at least i would get a proper look by someone without bias.

The thing is,i don’t think my country doctors know better/have better education than their american counterparts( or hknese or of any developed country for that matter ). So who should i trust?

I’m at the point where i’m probably gonna end up ordering said medicine online, testing it on myself to see if there are any improvement. And that sucks pretty hard.I’ve read all about the possible complication , psychosis, mania,schizophrenia , …

I’m also aware that by buying said drugs online i’m at risk of receiving crap.

And that due to the nature of the medicine and reading about students taking it to be able to studies their exam i’m afraid that there will be a positive effect anyhow and that i won’t be able to say if it fixed something or not.In the end , it might really be my personality i’m open to that possibility i just want to be sure.

But what else can you do ?

When you have something that cause problems to you are you supposed to trust doctor of your country ? go abroad every time something is not the way you want it to be ? ( going to the country which is the most liberal about a drug doesn’t look to be the best idea either ) How are you supposed to trust you doctor/decide where to go ?