My whole life I have been a weird guy most people are convinced I'm gay and even though i'm not I have gotten a lot of hate because of it even from my own family at times it doesn't help that I just want everybody to like me and I feel like everybody just thinks I am weird I have ocd and extreme anxiety as a result and come off as a very weird person as a result when I am at my best people seem to think I am great to be around but those moments become increasingly less everyday I feel like my emotions have completely left me entirely and I just seem to not give a crap about anything anymore I need help so badly and I am too anxious to do anything about it I am stuck living with my parents I am 25 btw still very young and feel like I need to die already life has been unkind to me and I have always felt like an outcast the worst part about all of this is when I was in my episode I thought I was going to win the lottery and have all of my dreams come true I was so happy and even started hanging out with people and being myself again you have no idea how devastating it was to find out a was just a crazy person and ruined my life as a result of it I have no idea how to change who I am after all this and I am terrified that if I do seek help it probably won't change me anyways I talked craziness to everyone and no amount of therapy can change that fact I really just don't know how to handle any of this and I am honestly scared