How do I feel about my PHD friend having a PhD while I struggle though my masters?

WHO DO YOU THINK I ASK FOR POSTER TEMPLATES?! WHO DO YOU THINK I ASK TO READ MY EMAILS!? WHO DO YOU THINK ENCOURAGES ME!?

How do I feel about my younger friend being a software engineer with defense contractors while I am a lowly whatever?

We lost our internships at the same time. Shes reading my resume. Shes my application buddy. She WILL be making 2-3 times as much as me at best(4-10 more likely), does that mean anything when we text eachother when we apply places?!

How do I feel about people having functional relationships while I sit here thinking id never be able to afford a wedding or find a fool?

I feel great when I'm with them. (Internship person and I were also broken up at the same time, moved at the same time etc) When I see whats possible. The happiest couple I know is one half ADHD. And so many people are divorced already.

I feel hopeful. Thats how I feel. Like damn, I'm so lucky to have people that did good, that do good, and that want good for me. And while I'm comparing myself to others. Theres people that still aren't saving for retirement. That had kids young. That have to talk to ex spouses cause of baggage. That haven't done what I've done even, (even if what I've done doesn't feel that impressive)

How do I feel? I feel like I need to work hard to make sure they understand the value they have to me goes beyond them supporting me. I feel like they should know I admire them and the hard work they put in, cause no, they aren't adhd, but yes they did put the work in. I don't want to feel shitty. They didn't leave you behind if you keep building bridges WITH them.

And also. Idk, I used to feel left behind. Like. Anyone with older siblings knows. "Yeah I graduated hs, but my brother did it first. Yeah I graduated college but my brother did it first. Yeah I blah blah" stop. "I graduated hs." Period. Thats a full sentence. And when I FINALLY graduated college, I looked back at the people I had left there, because it was my turn.

Like, how many dudes don't get NFL drafted first round. How many mlb mofos go play in Japan and come back. Do you think people are like, "yeah you played in the NFL, but only the 3rd time you tried..." lmao.

I had this counselor tell me, I could change my actions, I could direct my thoughts, but I couldn't change my feelings. You can't change your feelings. But you can stop instagramming with shit that makes you feel bad. Might I recommend you subscribe to adhddinos? Everytime they pop in your feed its time to stop scrolling and feeling crummy. Lol. Change the behavior, change the mindset.