She is 23 and I am 29. I am insecure about some things, I would be devastated if someone left me because I could not be there sexually enough for them. I think that's what a lot of this self blame stems from.

I do need to communicate this with her in its entirety because the way she has continually sighed when I've lost an erection or not gotten it up is not cool and makes me feel like total shit. She is bi and her last long term relationship was with a woman so maybe she just has an unrealistic view of what men can actually sustain in one day. Regardless it's been hard to bring it up because it's been a touchy subject and she seems to get defensive about it which just kinda pushes me away.

I never thought I'd run into this problem and it's just not a relationship I want to ruin