Thank you for those subs. After our therapy session he definitely understood that it was cheating. He said -

"I didn't mean to gaslight you. Truly I just didn't know that this was cheating. emotional affairs had never been something I understood or heard of before it sounds stupid, but its true. But now I see now ignorant I was of that. I was dishonest and irresponsible. And I will always feel regret and shame for it I'm sorry for what I did to you. It was the last thing you ever needed"

To repair- I have done the following: * I have already been going to individual therapy for years due to adhd and complex ptsd and after a short break I am going back soon again.

*He was the one suggesting marriage counselling for this and we have started it.

*There is open phone policy as he never put a password on his phone but I just didn't want to check in the past without him present.

*He is well aware that if anything like this ever happens, I am done for good. I will not hesitate as I can move past it once but 2 times shows a pattern.

Thank you again!