I know exactly what you're saying. Like I told you before, i experinced it with my first ex. They may miss you, and they may even reach out to you over the next year, but that DOES NOT MEAN THEY WANT YOU. They don't want you until they tell you exactly that. That's why NC is so important. If anything, if we were at least halfway decent partners, they would want a friendship with us down the road. But they don't even get that once they realize they want it. I'm sure my first ex wanted at least a friendship with me, but I was already so deep into NC that I didn't even care anymore. Now I just need a way to have that same attitude with this ex. I think you are in a really good spot. Right now you are in a position where you can use your ex's contact as fuel, and motivation to better yourself. What are your dreams, what is something that you can step out and do outside your comfort zone? Find it, write it down and do it. And use your ex's face as motivation to push yourself. I remeber after my first ex, she would always talk about me being skinny. She didn't like it. And I was, I was 5'7 133 pounds. Small guy. I was drinking a lot because I just got back from Afghanistan. And so I was not taking care of myself. When my first ex broke up with me not only did she attack my personality but she attacked the way I looked. I'm an attractive guy but my body was lacking. I spent the next couple months wallowing in misery watching the days stack up in NC. Losing more weight now because I didn't have an appetite. Idk what happened but one day I woke up and said I'm fucking done. I went to the gym and just started. I grew physically and mentally. Everytime my ex contacted me it made me laugh and just pushed me harder. Now I'm 165 pounds at 5'7. I'm in great shape have a great physique but I lost myself somehow with my now current ex. And it's funny because not once did my current ex ever complain about my body, in fact she couldn't keep her hands off it and always talked about it (she's kinda superficial) so now it's like what can I improve that this ex would want? Well, sure my current ex loved my body but she didn't like how passive I was. She didn't like that I looked like a man but didn't for the "man stereotype". I didn't like to argue and I HATED confrontation. She used to always say that if I didn't like confrontation with her, then how can she expect to me protect her? Which I never felt like I needed to "prove" my manliness to her, shit I was bangin in sangin in 2011, I've done shit overseas that would make most men quit. And so I left my aggression overseas and she didn't like that about me. So immediately following the breakup up, I join a fight gym. Kickboxing and Brazilian jui jitsu. I didn't even want to do it, I did it in spite of her. Now I love it. I can't wait for training every night. Sure I miss her, hell do I miss her. But what I'm trying to say is, right now you have fuel. You are overflowing with emotion and you can Channel that emotion into something that you've always wanted to do. Breakups such and they are hard, but some of my biggest improvements have come from breakups. And it's hard for to see it with this one because it's still fresh and yes, she is on my mind constantly. But the reason why she is on my mind constantly is because my love was REAL. At least I was reminded that I can love someone truly like they deserve. That's why it hurts. If it wasn't real then it wouldn't hurt. And I know that I can give that same love to someone else. Because there are a lot of girls and guys who to so long without ever experiencing true love. Someday someone will receive mine and cherish it and not take it for granted.