I'm.... not sure I can call Lila a good lady friend at this point, in terms of our closeness. Paraphrasing from my above comment, she, like the others, is friendly at work (and we talk lots/are quite in sync with other work friends), but the only times we've hung out since the breakup have been her wedding (where, again, I was casually not invited to the bachelorette party despite having been included in many conversations about it, which hurt like a mofo), the ladies night entirely on her terms, and a couple of other events in groups of work friends not hosted by me.

We don't have everything in common, and she hates confrontation (see: the gap between telling me "fo sho" I could come back to the group, but then a few weeks later saying she didn't think I'd ever be a main part of the group again), so I just don't... really know how much she thinks we could be anything more than the casual distanced friends that it seems like we "have" to be in this situation. And that is absolutely the tone all of this takes, that it basically has to be this way, and again, part of me really can't blame them - Lila's best friend for years is being childish, but he's also clearly, incredibly sad, and she (and the rest of the group) are already undoubtedly hurting him small-scale just by continuing to be kinda-friends with me. ^{Of course, the other part of me is still going "What the actual fuck oh my god the expectation is just that losing these people to a large degree is just normal and I just need to be reasonable and go along with this, how does anyone ever date, etc".}

If you asked me, three months ago, "What would you do if he came to you and said, Can we try to be friends?" I'd have said, Of course. If you asked me now, I would say, Why? and have to think about it a long, long time, because he knowingly did the thing that would wreck me for months. Realistically, it's been 6 months, he still sounds like I ruined his life, so that's pretty fucking unlikely... the question is mostly, Do I take the dribblings of mixed-blessing friendship that his lovely friends feel like they can offer me, or do I take away their problems and mine by ditching our relationships entirely?