How Did You Escape/Leave/End It With Your Jesse?

I am a well educated feminist women and I was stuck on an abusive cycle. I was young, I was stupid and I had years into that relationship. I was afraid of the unknown being worse than he was. No matter how you think abusers come they will surprise you. They come in every gender, color, sexuality. It’s horrifying.

This is so true. I was young (20), but up until then I was dazzlingly confident with extremely high self-esteem. At the time I met my "Jesse" I was living abroad and he was pretty much my life raft. I chose the wrong man to be with for sure. Three years of gaslighting and emotional abuse and it pretty much ruined me psychologically for years after that. I saw so much of myself in Darcey at the tell all--I recognized that simmer under the surface just waiting to burst out. I saw all the words left unspoken for fear of retribution or for fear of being left alone and broken. To Darcey (and to 20 year old me) it was better being with an emotionally vicious man than being left alone, I guess.

Now I thankfully know better.

/r/90DayFiance Thread Parent