Never fully recovered I guess. Mostly. My current gf of two years (bless her fuckin soul. She's perfect to me and we've never had any complication) knows something's up.

Something that never recovered is that I can't talk about personal things. It's hard to explain but I can't talk about how I feel or what I want in the relationship. Good lord is she an amazing woman, but I can't finish sentences even though I want to. She's understanding and I'll never let her know the depths of what is really happening.

Personally, it's more confusing than anything to me. I want to say something. Brain doesn't let me. I try harder. Brain yells at me. Mouth stutters then I apologize and say nevermind.

And I feel fine. My last relationship wasn't like super abusive just kinda abusive. Idk.

Guess my answer to you question is that you have to hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I've never been happier in my entire life than I am with my current partner. I have no doubts that she and I are going to be endgame. Not A SINGLE issue. She'd never hurt me.

But I'm ready to be hurt.