Kind of a pathetic and funny/weird story (or actually two stories blending into one bloody mess) but here we go. About 6 years ago I met this girl at my school, (name completely made up) Josie. She was pretty popular at that time but somehow I found the courage to make a move and thus started a casual conversation on facebook. We soon traded our numbers and started talking more frequently. I fell in love with her and she fell for me too, and we dated happily for about a year and a half. However the happy days were soon over; during the last 3 months I gradually found out that she had severe conflicts with her self-image, which had already led to self-harm and problems with eating. Im not gonna go into much detail here, but lemme just say that during the next few months it became clear to me that Josie was beyond my reach. I had tried my hardest to help her see herself as the beautiful girl she really was, but I couldnt bring her to her senses even with the help of Josie's best and dearest friend Amy (name also made up). Finally I decided to let go of her, though back then I hated myself for such a 'selfish' resolve. The first months after the breakup were kinda hard since I kept thinking about Josie's current state and wondered if she still thought about me, but I got completely over her soon after. For about a year I kept myself away from any kinds of relationships and just concentrated on my studies, but then the shit hit the fan. I fell for Amy, and I fell BAD. It was so weird, I had of course talked to Amy before when we both were working on Josie's case, but I had never spared any extra thoughts towards Amy. I started noticing her at school and kinda woke up to the fact that she almost always wore a smile and was in fact very beautiful. She had been in the same school for years and of course I had seen her there many times with Josie and other girls, but now there was only Amy and no one else around. I felt kinda ashamed for falling for Amy, she was still Josies best friend after all. I was also pretty certain that Josie had told all kinds of bad stuff about me to her friends (she did not take the breakup too well) so I considered my picture in Amy's eyes to be nothing short of a selfish bastard with no heart at all. As I am not the type of guy to surrender without even trying I still decided to give it a go and so I talked to her. First it felt bad to be talking with my ex's best friend, but those thoughts were soon pushed aside as I found out that Amy did not consider me a bastard at all, but actually liked me. I was happier than ever before, and the next 1-2 months we talked almost every night and planned where we could see each other without anyone getting a clue about it. All went according to plan, we met at quiet places and would talk for hours with awkward pauses which made us both laugh and oh boy our first kiss... it was wonderful time. Then the second wave of shit hit the fan; shit aka my conscience. Amy told me one day that Josie had somehow got on track about what was going on between me and Amy. Since Amy had had to admit to her best friend that there was indeed more than friendship between me and Amy, Josie was pretty hurt and angry. And you know what was even better? She was still JEALOUS. It fucked up my head so completely I had to call for a timeout with Amy. She promised to settle things with Josie and told me that I shouldnt worry, since she would choose me over Josie if she ever had to decide. I couldnt bear the amount of unfairness Amy had to face and I was very angry with myself for not having thought about this kind of situation back when I had decided to be with Amy. For a couple of weeks my mind was a complete mess and it resulted (in hindsight) in the most stupid move I have ever made. I told Amy I was going to leave her. Not because I felt any sort of affection towards Josie, but because I couldnt stand to be the person to separate two best friends from each other. It was heartbreaking for me to do but I felt it was for the best, and stuck with the decision I had made. What I didnt understand back then (but have realized in hindsight (yippee-fucking-yay)) was how committed Amy really had been to our relationship. She had been ready to walk away from her best friend, if us being together really had proven to be too much for Josie. But it was very late and awkward to realise how badly I had chosen, so I couldnt bring myself to talk to Amy again. She was still always on my mind but I couldnt possibly know whether she loved me or hated me, and of course I couldnt ask, I had already done enough harm. Now, 2 and a half years later Amy is still on my mind but I have been putting up with it quite well, though I have not dared to speak to her, until... 2 weeks ago I was scrolling through my Tinder just out of boredom, when suddenly I see a pop-up; Amy has SuperLiked you! Such a pathetic little message in such a worthless app, but man did my heart flip upside down even still. I did not waste time as I wrote her my greetings after 2 years of waiting in shame. I dont mind if it was Tinder that gave me a chance to put everything back together, but I do know there's no stopping me now.