That's long man, in my country you do not change school for 15 yrs, so I was kinda lonely till class 2 and then just wanted someone to play coc with, everyone avoided me except this one kid and we are still best friends 6 yrs later, he introduced me to all the nerdy kids and to not loose them as friends I was pushed to my limits and even though now I am in the honors section with all my friends, I rly do not feel like I fit in anywhere, I do not even know who I am anymore, I have 2 personalities, one who is extremely studious and one who plays video games and is very good at them and would take it as a career if given the opportunity and I am just so confused with no idea what I am doing or who I am that it actually is taking it's toll on me. I never was the studious kind, I was forced into it and now I cannot find my way back, and I do not want this life of being studious cuz I am realising how much I am missing, like I was so invested in school and what school taught that till last year, I did not know anything outside what the school taught me, in one year I discovered so much on the internet, I am just really confused rn about how I never knew how much I did not know, I did not know anything about the entertainment industry, about how to cope and deal with different emotions, about anything out of the school books and I am just not having a good time rn