How did you stop hating yourself?

I have. Itching to add to this but I can tell you I definitely feel your pain. I feel the same exact way. I'm a black guy(technically French but America will just see me as "the black guy") I genuinely hate myself. I hate taking selfies. I hate how all my friends are in relationships and I'm always the one that is constantly single. I have an underbite that makes me look like a neanderthal. I hate it all so much. I even hate talking about it because to other people, its not a problem. They will tell you everyone has a different type or some other type of reassurance but I doubt that's even true. I deleted all the apps because I have such low self esteem and guys I message, almost never message me back. To me, that was a massive red flag and basically guaranteed that I would get down on myself. Besides my underbite, I hate my ski. Color. I hate how it's almost always my skin color for why I get turned down. I hate how every every guy I talk to expects me to be a top because of my skin color. I just hate it. I don't really see the point of living. I'm doing bad in school now and I just all around suck. There really is nothing for me to live for. I hate talking like this because I see myself as looking for attention or at least I'm sure other people do. I am genuinely not and I genuinely hate myself. I don't wanna kill myself because maybe, just maybe things will get better. But this frame of mine has been with me since is started having sex, so around 17 years old. I am now 21. I started group therapy last week, so maybe that will help but if not then I think I may commit suicide or at least start self sabotaging myself. I don't think I am depressed. I just have rally low self esteem. To me, depression is not having a will to go on and I do. I shower, brush my teeth,etc. anyways I'm starting to ramble but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your feelings. Here hoping hat one day things will get better for us in our heads :)

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