Had some problems from the start, mostly juvenile shite which would have split us eventually anyway: wasting money on drink, asking to move in because his mother lost her place and then not paying anything, never helping around the house, gone all hours without a text even. Things got worse after the accidental pregnancy.
Found out in the second trimester. He started spending all his time getting high with his mother, would promise to pick me up after (late-night) classes and then never show up, slept with my friend and neither told me until the child was a month old, would check out women on the street while I was with him (and said outright that my being pregnant didn't mean we were together - even though we lived together and the child was ours together, and we'd been dating for over a year). Should have left it right then, was an idiot.
He wanted sex a week after the birth. I said no. About two weeks after, he raped me as I was napping with the baby on my chest. Didn't want to hurt the baby, didn't fight him, told him to stop.
Kicked him out a month later, when he brought his mother over after promising she would never know where we lived. She's a nutcase; apples and trees. Wanted to be nice, said hi to her in the car, let her hold the baby. Had to have the landlord threaten to call the police because she wouldn't hand me the baby back. He followed me back inside, yelling about how I needed to pull my weight in the relationship and didn't show respect and other shite. All projection. Again, idiot. Told him to leave. Packed his shit in a bag and dumped it outside the property, texted him to pick it up and never set foot there again. Moved far away.
Last year he was arrested for attempted murder of nutcase mother, posession of illegal firearms, some other details. This on top of multiple DUIs. Case imploded when nutjob mother couldn't keep her story straight. Bruises weren't definitive proof.
Recently pulled into court; he wants visitation. Judge sees no problem with leaving my kindergartener with him unsupervised. I have to see him every week, and have a discussion every month as per court order. He takes my child to see R rated movies, feeds my child foods that he is aware cause sickness, talks with my child about inappropriate things (such as how he was "mean" to me), buys things every visit and says they're from "daddy". Judge awarded full day visit with a man my child doesn't know, starting very sudden, ignored the suggestion of the mediator for short, supervised visits. This is the man who raped me, twice.
Feel like the outcast at child's school: the only single parent, with the fucky history, call the police if this guy shows up. Child is in therapy now. Try to pretend he doesn't exist the rest of the week. Neutral when child mentions him.
Fell through the not bad enough crack as a child. Don't want it happening to my own. Idiot.