I re-discovered psychedelics a couple years ago and fell in love with them, at least at first. It's hard to pinpoint when it started. There were some was one particularly awful psilocybin trip, some unbelievable DMT experiences, but in the end I think it was all the LSD that did it: crippling depression. I had done my research. I knew serotonergic psychedelics aren't thought to cause mental health issues. I also knew they can exacerbate existing mood and personality disorders. What I didn't know was that I was actually suffering from moderate depression to begin with. Maybe I was in denial about the dosages I was taking, or maybe it was that I had nearly forgotten the original diagnosis from 20 years ago, or maybe I'm just not very bright. Regardless, I paid for it. At the lowest point I was crying dozens of times a day for no reason at all. I was suicidal for a while. It's been about a year since I quit using but I'm finally starting to get better. My doctor has been trying new meds and I'm slowly improving. I'm going back to school, working on becoming a better employee, trying to be more social, and generally trying to stay positive. The insomnia is pretty rough but at least reddit is open 24/7.

I went through hell and I have no doubt others have gone through worse. The thing is, I don't regret any of it. When I look back on the lessons I learned through all those trips I realize they made an enormous net positive impact. It's hard for me to believe that that these substances can't be incredibly valuable if you're the kind of person who can use them responsibly. I, however, am not.