How to know the difference of being too picky, having standards, and compatibility.

Yeah I get that. Honestly for me, the biggest thing for me is feeling like I can talk on the same level with someone intellectually, being interested in and discussing a broad number of topics. And being aware and invested in what is going in the world around us.

As far as with my family, I think a lot my fears of what they might think, it’s less about feeling judged, so much as trusting their judgment, and knowing that they know me and want what’s best for me, and putting my own reservations on to them, if that makes sense?

I’m watching my brother through a divorce, and while there were ultimately several reasons that lead up to it. A lot of had to do with coming from different socio economic, and intellectual backgrounds, which ultimately lead to a lack of emotional intimacy among other things.

And yeah like you said with shallow vs security, there certain things I just know are definitely deal breakers to have/not have. Whither viewed as shallow or not, I don’t want get too deep, and feel stuck/unhappy, or drag someone else through that.

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