I have had a few female roommates over the years, many of them being sluts (they are all in their early 20s). They sometimes talk to me about the guys they date/bang. Some traits that they have in common, as opposed to my female roommate that aren’t sluts (or as slutty), are:
If they like a man, they will have sex with him quickly; dating is usually not required. They typically hook up with a guy at a party, bar or club. If they do go on dates, they sleep with the guy on the first or second date.
Their friends are sluts. Self-explanatory.
They all had the attitude of sex not being a big deal, seem less likely to get attached after sex and do not demand commitment after sex. One of my female roommates is very open when talking about sex and does not hide or seem to care that she brings a lot of guys over; there are frequently used condom/condom wrappers in the trash can. Another one of my female roommates and I were talking. Somehow, the topic of the sex double standard between men and women came up. She mentioned she did not like the double standard, thought it was normal for people to have 10-20 partners and praised the opinion of this guy she was dating that promiscuity was no big deal. She hadn’t slept that guy yet (shocking, I know). She also talks to me about guys she dates and bangs and is not ashamed about her behavior.
They are politically liberal/progressive or feminists. It may be due to the city that I live in, but they are left leaning. One is a feminist that works for the government, the other works for an organization that is supposedly “pro-woman”. Even if they are not “progressive” or feminist, they all lived the lifestyle as advocated by feminism.
They were not living with their parents.
Dated a lot of different men without having any one man be her exclusive boyfriend. They are not necessarily dating them at the same time, think more like serial monogamy. They did not even have a long time friends with benefits. They would sleep with the same man for some weeks or a couple of months, get bored, find another man and repeat the pattern.
Some people say that smoking, tattoos, excessive drinking and coming from broken families are slut tells. They are, but they are not totally reliable. My slutty female roommates, for example have few, if any, tattoos, rarely smoke, only drink socially and their parents were married, although one of the girl’s parents had divorced. So if a girl has sex with you quickly, has slutty friends, seems like sex is no big deal, does not seem attached after sex, does not demand commitment after sex, living the feminist/”Sex in the City” lifestyle, are not living with their parents, assume she is a slut.
The best strategy though is to be non-judgmental, act like sex is not a big deal and listen. The scenario of my roommate telling me that she did not like the sexual double standard and that 10-20 partners was normal did not come from interrogation, the conversation happened naturally. I did not shame her and criticize her attitude either. Therefore, she will be more open towards me in the future. Remember, the standards she has for other people are the standards she has for herself. And people can only hide their true selves for only so long.