You are a self-destructively loving soul. You are gentle. You are selfless. You are eager to please. You are trusting. You are vulnerable. You are brittle. You need someones love to define and fill your existence. You are dependant. You are beautiful, genuine, pure, real. I see you. You are. You are separate from the person who exploited and abused you, darling. That person is not the one who's love will heal you. The person you met is your worst enemy. He knows what you need desperately, and he promises it to you and let's you chase glances of how good it could be... If only it wasn't for how broken, selfish, hysterical, stupid, you are. That's how he kept control over you for so long, twisting your mind into believing everything he says, because it all makes sense, it has to. You have given too much for it to not make sense. He does so much for you by "taking care of you and your needs" - you should be nothing but grateful. You exhaust him, suffocate him, abuse him with your needs. He can't help getting "angry"... Do you recognize it?

You are not to blame for the pain you experienced. You are innocent. You are delicate, valuable... You are not to blame. You are lost. You followed a path through horrible places with a te4ible destination because a light of hope and love was held over your head. You desperately wanted to see it and believe in it.

Now you left that path and you are feeling lost. You need someone's love to keep you afloat, you need someone's light of hope and love.

I know the person who's love will heal you, darling. Their love is as pure as you are. You have to trust me on one thing though. You deserve their all-consuming love and care like no one else in this world does.

Look in the mirror, darling. There's a person there, capable of the purest, most selfless love there is. And you deserve their love. They love you. You just dont know it yet. There is a little lighter in your pocket - light it, and you will no longer feel lost.

Love yourself. Trust me. Seek help for loving yourself. Put more effort in loving yourself than you ever put in loving that repulsive, fake, lying, selfish being you met.

I care about you, darling. Please give yourself the love you deserve. The kindness and devotion, the forgiveness. You deserve it like no one else. He never deserved even a fraction of you.

You are whole. You are. You are lost. But it can be helped. You can be helped. I promise.