One, sometimes if a dude is helping me with something I am positive and friendly. I smile and make eye contact etc, same as I would if a female was helping. But the dudes interpret friendliness and gratitude as sexual interest and then act like they've been cheated. Two, there have been times when I behave in an intentionally flirty manner towards a dude that I want a favor from IF I find the dude attractive. And when they are doing what I asked them to do, I find them more attractive. Especially weird favors. I asked this dude to bring me some duct tape late at night (not explaining) he was never so attractive as standing there in my doorway with that role of tape. Or that time he picked me up downtown at rush hour. Or when he kept making coffee, cause I didn't know how to use the coffee maker, but we both knew I was just lazy. But he never would admit to anything when he was sober. Dammit, he was the only reason I shaved my legs. Yeah, I crashed at his house all the time, but I could have found other places to stay. And he had to have noticed that his apartment was the only place I wore my shortest shorts. Yeah, I put a sway in my step and did everything I could to make him look at me. I always joked about how I was using him and stuff because it was terrifying how much he meant to me. I think he might have believed it. And he did have a lot more resources that I did at the times, it would be easy and sensible for him to drop me. So every time he talked about some hot girl at the gym, I bit my tongue and said to go and hit that. Cause he has the right and I'm in the wrong, just a pretty fuckup with no car and no where else I'd rather be than with him. I didn't have much but I really tried. I listened to all his work stories and clapped appropriately. I drew him pictures. He did all the stupid things I asked him, except the one that mattered. And he's all like "oh you're drunk this isn't right." Well, pretending nothing happened isn't quite right either. Well I kissed him goodbye on the way out the door and he said uh... Longest drive ever. Then what, trying to make excuses to be in town. Had to be someone else, would be so bad to say you wanted to see me? After all the annoying inconvenient things that he did just because I asked him to, he couldn't just once admit that he wanted to see me? Why did he do those things? Why do the work and skip the payout? Was it all just pity, or nostalgia or some twisted white knight complex? Then some weird fucking fade out thing. I told him the truth, but we were too far gone by then. He's on facebook, posting pictures of alcohol and complaining about being alone. And I'm on fucking reddit. But people still think I'm pretty. That's all that matters. As long as people find me attractive I have value to society. Or so I'm told, lately. Or this other dude that was fixing a thing on my computer, the problem solving was very attractive to me. He had very nice hands. His doing the favor made me more attracted to him. The fact that he generously offered to help, and didn't try and tack on debts was very attractive. I told him he was the most attractive person in my phone, later proven.