How does the relationship you had with your father as a child affect your life in the present?

my dad smoked weed since he was 16 and had me at 35, then divorced from my mum at 42 (because of weed) he eventually had 2 episodes of drug induced psychosis and leading up to, during and after and everything in-between he basically hated me because i reminded him of my mum. he would criticise me constantly and put me down, basically complete invalidation of my existence. i was always a very sensitive child and still am as an adult, it's effected me in how i process emotions, seek validation in romantic relationships fastforward to me at 26, several toxic abusive ex partners, therapy lined up i understand fully that he had a massive role to play for me in the present, and the worst part is he doesn't "remember" during his psychotic episodes and i don't have any contact with him now, we wouldn't be able to address the issues and i need to figure it out for myself. my mum has been my ROCK she's fiercely independent but i guess ive made bad decisions because of my dad being a lack of dad. its a process forgiving him and forgiving myself and learning that i do deserve love and acceptance of myself in order to receive it from someone else.

/r/AskWomen Thread