I am sorry about your ordeal,drug have never been a good thing,did'nt you imagine why drug dealers never take drug,people like pablo,elchapo never took it though they have it in abundant they know drugs ruins life. About being ashamed because of the incident i dont know how long it happened you should know most people might have forgotten it everybody is busy with there own life,meanwhile you should move on with your life the past can never be changed but you have the future.i suggest you take a leave or small vacation to some other city or country.. My place is avaliable if you would like to travell out and see another part of life,it offers inspirations and excitment in life.