Making friends takes a lot of effort, care, and patience. I don't know anyone who magically makes friends. We all have to put in an effort to find people to connect with.
It's easier to make friends at a non-commuter UC, CSU, or private four-year. There are more clubs and people tend to hang around campus and socialize more often. You can still make friends if you go to community college, it's just harder.
You don't always have to drink when you go to parties, you know? During college I think I only drank a third of the time I went to parties. Two of my good friends didn't drink much either and they went to parties even more than I did. Another friend of mine met people because he joined pre-healthcare student organizations and he was pre-med. He didn't have much time to party or have fun because he was studying, volunteering, and working as a research assistant most of the time. He mostly bonded with his roommates and friends through study sessions.
How can you bond with people if you just stay home all the time? You have to get out there and talk to different people to find people that you like. I tried really hard when I was in high school to make good friends and my friends from high school are still some of my closest friends. They are some of the funniest and most caring people that I know. I didn't drink, smoke, or gossip in high school and neither did most of friends. Talk to everyone and give everyone a chance, that's what I did and I loved high school.
What careers are you considering? Join relevant student organizations to learn more about fields you are interested in and try to make friends through those clubs.You and the other members will be interested in the same things and will have similar goals so you will have more opportunities to bond.
How much money you want to spend on school is a personal choice that depends on your career goals, how much you have saved, and how much financial aid you do or don't get. I had no idea what career I wanted so I lived with relatives and commuted to school because I didn't want to have an enormous amount of debt that I wasn't sure I could pay off. I lived in Southern California so it's not a big deal that I commuted because if you live within 30 minutes from the coast there are so many fun things to do and so many opportunities. I lived near campus one year and it just wasn't worth the money to me. Opinions vary on this subject.
It's harder to make friends if you stay home all the time. I met a lot of people because I invited them to go hiking, to flee markets, to new parts of the city, to festivals, to parks, to parties with my other friends, to museums etc. I even hung out with a classmate a couple times because she complimented me on my clothes and I invited her to go shopping with me. I never thought I would love Civil War Reenactments or Steam-Punk festivals, but I tried something new and surprisingly had a lot of fun at them. People have to bond over something, so bonding is easier if you do activities together and try new things. Yes, it's a little intimidating to ask people to hang out with you and it's just as intimidating to say yes to new things that other people invite you to. You just got to push yourself out of your comfort zone to experience life and connect with people.
Consider reading some coming-of-age novels like The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, Notes from the Midnight Driver etc. That should help you figure out that it takes effort, exploration, care, and an open mind to make friends. Making friends is not magic and it’s not always easy.