Don't take this the wrong way but I think you are both kind of poor in the bedroom department. He seems quite obviously selfish and the opposite of passionate but you are not really communicating well about it either(I mean here you are expecting him to ask despite not having done something like that yourself as far as we know?).

I wouldn't recommend trying to have a talk about it right away. Big chance you will rub him the wrong way similarly to how he does not rub enough and get into an unnecessary argument as you will probably end up attacking his self-esteem. Rather than going on the offense maybe it is better to "negiotiate". Basically what I am trying to say: slow down the process and invite him to foreplay, during-play, more intimate things, ask more like you did the second time, go into positions where you are in control. If he does not go along, ask for things you know you enjoy. If he doesn't follow, go a bit further and take away feedback that might give him the impression it is fun for you (moaning) as that should make him realise he's not doing it for you. Not many guys that will not notice when the woman does not seem to be enjoying at all, it should stop him to at least think about it.

If at that point he still does not care, which would absolutely baffle me, only then would I adress it. He doesn't seem unselfish outside the bedroom so I assume he is just unaware he is unattentive and you require more than others may have. Try subtlety before you go and throw it in his face, that rarely leads to better sex as it will put tons of pressure on the whole process for him from that point on. It might be fun for you afterwards but no longer for him and leave you clueless why he disappeared right when it got better.