You're already in greasy/ shifty territory, so why not go for broke?

• File a claim saying a fellow associate copped a feel, now you need alone time money while you work your shit out.
• Make things more interesting- say you think you liked it- more money please!
• The ol' slip and fall- not for amateurs because LP has been onto it forever- but consider there's no cameras in the bathroom and those contractor poops overflowing in the toilet can be useful.

I'm betting after your first taste of those sweet lawsuit dollars, you'll be inspired to pursue a path where you'll never work a legit job again- good for you. Good for everyone else too- who would want someone like that on their team?

Lowes sucks right now, and there's alot of folks looking for other work to get out- myself included- but you do you. Can you do better?